Saturday, 30 April 2016

That peak to inspiration

I wish I could have a good way to start this draft. I wish I could find the most amazing words but I might be a tiny bit overwhelmed and not sure where to start from. Lets try filter bullshit and keep important stuff for now. Or fuck it, ill just say whatever i want to.

"And no longer want to be bound by limits that were never set by me" - Arctic lake

very powerful statement. :)

Ive met someone. We talked on and off, forever. Not forever in literal meaning ofcourse, but for quite sometime and what I recall is that everytime we try to meet, we never do. To be honest, I wasnt reallys erious about anything and certainly not this someone. But i remember that when we first spoke, I saw something i liked. He was memorable and considering the amount of people i spoke with or maybe even met, that was something for me to remember! So, eventually we meet. It was the first day of my resignation and i needed to get away. Go out. See someone and he happened to be there so we planned to meet that evening and we finally did. I got dressed up and he came to pick me up.

He was very nice. A gentleman. Took me to a nice spot with an amazing view. And thats just how it happened! Ill cut to the chase. I like him to some extent. He managed to touch my heart and I feel for him now. He might see this post and he might not. I might tell him and I might not. The thing is that now I realise things about myself. Such as how hard ive been come. My unability to take 'caring talk' from others or any form of advice or find dificulty to do so and the list could slightly go on a bit longer but its not bad. Atleast im aware that there are things about myself that id probably need to re evaluate. Im too afraid. Im also impatient. Sigh

I should try to throw less fits.

Penang experience is not exactly how ive wanted it to be. But hey do we ever get much out of wanting things to be exactly how they should be? Why is there a certain way things should be in anyway? im not saying we should just run around like mad people but man just be a bit flexible.

I feel like in ashort while i managed to fuck up alot. I have a time problem. And i hardly take things seriously so you can imagine id be an extremely chill person but i honestly still think not! Its weird.

Its been a while so again, im just throwing things out. Not really trying to solve things or uncover the mysteries. Just throwing things out. Clearing space :)

I chose this title, because I havent felt like this in a while and I hope it doesnt fade away.


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