Tuesday, 22 September 2015


Ive been staring at the screen for a while now. Haha where do I start from? Its been a month, since I last blogged. Ive been super busy, and stressed out, and busy, and overwhelmed, and busy etc.

I wont add quotes to you...Because its been a while, or maybe ill throw a few that were in my mind for sometime now, or that ive been keeping an eye on for some weird reason that must have meant something to me but not really bothered to go into the topic in details perhaps, right now. so anyway, moving on, My visa process has finally commenced im happy-ier. Im getting there :). Anyway, I have already told myself that whatever comes my way, not to say id give up on what i want or anything, but ill appreciate myself regardless of how i feel and however things go and ill always be grateful. not too sure this is making sense, but it makes sense to me.

"Expectations often lead to disappointment. Just let life flow." - Unknown

When I started this draft, last saturday, I havent slept for almost 24hrs. Was feeling..Okay I guess, just had a wicked headache. My friends were blacked out everywhere, On my couch, in my room, just everywhere. It was fun Friday night/Saturday morning.

looking forward to December, and i keep on saying this a lot nowadays.

"The world changes in direct proportion to the number of people willing to be honest about their lives." - Armistead Maupin

What happened was that it was friday and im at work, around afternoon, and a friend of mine texts saying shes back from her hometown and we should go out. Was a bit reluctant at first but then said ok. So she came to pick me up, we go to Play and i try mdma for the first time. I thought id be out of my mind or something but my friends assured me that id be fully aware of my surroundings and that it doesnt even show really that id be on something. So, i was like ok cool! lets see what this is all about and i try it. I was just chilling..kind of waiting for something to happen, and nothing happens, i feel normal, so i decide to go to the toilet and the moment i started walking i was like oooh shit! something is happening. first, i was just feeling a bit unstable, so i walk slowly, then i reach the toilet and im noticing peoples conversations and they sound so silly, like, you know those girls that are...just too girly? convo's were something along those lines of "did you see him? he came and talked to me and i was like oh my god! bla bla bla no you didnt!"...1) They were loud and drunk. 2) i was staring at myself in the mirror while they were talking so i was busy, not that i was eavesdropping or anything! And then please, eavesdrop on what anyway? I noticed that i couldn't really concentrate on images or people. Like i cant see properly! I mean i could see just not stably? haha

Anyway, almost like being tipsy in a good way. I could hold a conversation and everything, so it was quite fine. Just laaater on you feel like you don't want to be bothered by people asking too many  questions. I had a 15 min conversation with my best friend after i got home on whether its fine f she could crash at my place or not. and i kept on telling her its fine i don't mind but for some reason the conversation went on and on. Same topic :I. That was annoying.

"Perhaps we should ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done." - Rudy Francisco

At Play it was me and nadnad then i asked Roman if he wanted to come by since i kept on ditching him for months. It was awkward. I really honestly dont know what this person thinks of me. Ive ditched him for forever and then tell him well im out with a friend that i havent seen for a while, come hang out with us, at Play!. Jesus, Sumaya. Oh well. Lets see.

Anyway, I had a good time. Last weekend was just, different. Not in a bad way of course. It was interesting. Good :)

Ill blog more frequently. This is not cool of me.

"...this is me. When all the others have left, I will not go, I will hold on, I will fight... And ill be the one who stays, until the very end..." - Mathew Spencer


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