Adventure before Lao

It was just before graduation that Ive decided Id go and come back, original plan was 3-5 days. I decided id do 5 days since the flight ticket was cheaper that way plus I was told accomodation wasnt that expensive either.

Informed my family, booked my ticket and a day before my flight I was with a friend in chinatown, had dinner and creeped around a methodist church that looked very old and turned out to be from the early 1900's. Had interesting windows and what not. Pretty cool. Afterwards decided to come back home and we started drinking, did last minute packing and laid down a bit. My flight was early morning and my alarm rang around 4am---snooze! long story short i was on my way to the airport at about 6am and my flight was at 7.20. by the time I reached there I was told it was already too late. Panicked a little and asked the lady if there were any more flights to Vientiane today and she replies "no, next one would be on the 26th". Thats 2 days later and im supposed to leave latest by 25th, no way! I panick more and i find a quiet spot to try and book another flight with a different airline or something.

12 hours later, I was still in the sirport running around from KLIA2 to KLIA, I was exhausted, and my brain was not responding anymore. I had to go home and figure out what to do.

I arrive at the nearest train station to my home, and guess what...theres a match which means its crazy crowded and you will not get a cab at all. At this point i realised that this day must just pass because im done with it. I had to walk with my luggage for about 15mins then saw a police officer. She was standing in the middle of two roads and i asked her which road had more taxis passing by so that id stand and get one hopefully. The lady must have felt sorry for me, she looked me straight in the eyes and said "wait", she crossed the road to ask her colleague something and then she just pointed to a bus stop across the road, said i can just sit there and id get a cab. 

The fact that she tried to help me meant so much to me then. probably on any other day this would have been just something normal but because i was going through what i was going through, that kind gesture (of her actually crossing the road to ask her colleague) brought tears to my eyes. I was in need of help! i needed a break..I just wanted to go home, thats all.

I thanked her from my heart and as i walked to the bus stop, i saw a cab and it stopped. I mentioned my place and asked if he would go, already prepared for another disappointment but he said ok.

I was reliefed. I cried a little in the taxi and it was those deepkind of cries where your throat actually hurts haha. (Quietly)..I broke my own heart.

Went home, sat down on my laptop and immediately managed to book a flight for the next day early evening. cost me more money which sucked and the layover was 12 hours at Hanoi, Vietnam! WTF! Lao is literally, maximum 2.5hours from here but anyway what to do? had to get it anyway.

Next day Im awake early. Ready and prepared, get tthe airport 3 hours earlier and im standing at the check-in line. its my turn and the guy at the counter is actually taking longer than usual so i was a bit worried. It was the last day for my visa and he says i have to go to my country that they wouldnt let me in. This was very weird. How can you force someone to go somewhere?! I mean yea, I need to leave your country, but how can you tell me where to go?! The writing on the visa says "making arrangements to leave the country" but somehow he translates that into "making arrangements to leave to Sudan"?? In my mind I was just like there is no way your making me miss my flight again, so i told him that doesnt make sense because i dont really have family in my country then took out my roesidence card to prove. Silly guy trying me?

He says its not them but just that they are worried immigration wouldnt let me through. So i went, passed through smoothly, boarded my plane and 1-2 hours later arrived at Hanoi. 13-14 hours later im in Laos.

That was stressfull but im glad it passed. what an experience.

Lao experience post coming soon XD

 

Train of thoughts in Lao

It is quite normal for humans to not understand many things in life at times. Sometimes its good to be curious and try to get answers but at other times it may also be a good idea to let things go.

Perhaps I'm saying this right now as a way to convince myself to not ask questions about whats been puzzling me a bit and bothering me recently.

It really felt like a traffic jam in my head, and hopefully letting it out this way may ease it a bit :)

Current mood is not so bad. I definitely feel like I'm in a better state of mind, slightly sort of happy with myself too. I'm doing a good job considering the fact that I'm a painfully shy person, that likes their own space.  Also very anti-social and right now I'm doing the complete opposite! Good job for that.

Lao is quite alright, laid back, but not much to do in Vientiane and no time to visit other cities so that sucks a bit but nonetheless, I'm trying to relax and enjoy as much as I can. Maybe I can visit Vang Vieng? its about 4-5hrs by bus. Ill think about that. Need to get my return ticket as well and that's all.

I love the traditional Laos wear. The ladies here wear those wrap around skirts that are then held together by a metallic belt (which seems like a new fashion trend perhaps) but I absolutely love it. Ill go to the night market today and get myself one! Vietnam's traditional clothes also seem awesome. Although I was just in the airport but saw many Vietnamese people wearing it and I think its quite beautiful.

I am happy. But I have my moments whereby I feel really down but I become fine again real quick so that's alright i guess. It doesn't last XD. But the last thing I would want is to somehow be reminded of things.

I get a text msg late at night. He apologizes. Why? has he heard something that he didn't like and felt bad? Is he regretting? I hope not because that would just be sad. Did he speak to his sister and she mentioned that I might be going to Canada while he knows I didn't have plans for that originally so he felt bad and apologized? what is it?!

Let it be....?!

I was asleep and woke up to see it. I was surprised a bit and not in a good way. I felt my eyes water and throughout the day this continued to happen randomly. I break my own heart at times.

"I am sorry." He said, with a full stop! If a person truly and genuinely wants something they make it happen. Come sunshine, come rain. Almost seems like people sometimes crave a sad life.
What exactly are you sorry for I should have asked. Whatever...

I didn't know what to say! OK? Thanks? What...Silence?

But he should know that I don't hold things in my heart and that i wouldn't be holding things in my heart towards him. I thought this was a done deal. I mean it is! We talked briefly a while ago and i had sort of a "this is my goodbye" kind of convo. We were cool. Finish. Why say sorry now out of the blues? Do i look very sad? Pathetic?

Anyway for a split minute, I kind of thought to myself, don't give me that I'm sorry bullshit. It doesn't make sense...

I said Ok and that I was sorry too and a bunch of other things. I feel like sometimes things i say don't really make sense.

Enough with this. I wished him well and made a prayer for him. I never hold things in my heart. An attribute i like but one that sometimes fail me and makes me look ridiculous. Almost like a person that has no personality? weak? but i know that is not it, I just don't see the need to burden myself. for what? i mean unless a person does something really bad to me. like really really bad then maybe. But I'm genuinely just like that! I really have no proper explanation. perhaps by time I find out.

At the end of the day no one is perfect. We are all work in progress.

I hope to write more soon...

I dont want to state the obvious but my blog has been idle for a while now..this was not what i originally intended, but on a 2nd thought im not sure what my intentions were anymore for this blog..perhaps it was to make myself feel good about doing something new? to try and impress someone? or to really just write my thoughts and nurture my writing skills as a person that likes to keep journals? with that last statement, i realised half way through that i was not really able to express myself truly and honestly online. Im afraid of what people might think...

I recently lost someone that was very dear to me. from the start i thought that it would be fixed and i tried to convince myself things would be fine..they never got better, things just spiraled and i lost myself. ive never felt clueless my life. i always knew what i would be doing in advance and now im not sure what i want anymore. there is no motivation whatsoever, i have no push, im probably at my lowest right now. Ive never been like this before. Im just tired. I think i deserve some good times to come my way. genuine good times.

I need to let go of all negativities and all negative emotions, Just let go and live. Move on. Its painful, sometimes i feel like i cant get out of bed.. If past lives truly existed, I must have done something really bad because this feels like the wrath of god is upon me. But ill stand here. Ill try to stand.

Pain demands to be felt and may the lord have mercy on me and my soul

MDG | Piktochart Infographic Editor

MDG | Piktochart Infographic Editor

Have you ever woken up and felt like ur heart is smiling?

Thats how i felt twice this month! Its like a mixture of being relieved, ecstatic, happy! Its a good feeling. I guess this is one of my favourable months.

Haven't had the chance to update my blog lately because i came to visit my family.

So anyway, back to that wonderful, out of this world feeling. I spoke to my father and there was this really personal matter that was worrying me sick and i needed, or might as well say desperately wanted his blessings. And i got it!

2nd reason that made my heart smile was that i found out i passed my exams! All of them, with really good grades. Im proud of myself that i made it. It was difficult, and for sometime i really doubted myself. I doubted if i was able to make it.

My mind was absolutely not in my head. I was just worried the whole time and i wasn't able to concentrate. But even when i wasn't able to concentrate my books were always in front of me.

If i made it through that, i know i can always make it. Ill always push myself harder I'm forever grateful to god.

Thank you :*

"I have a dream"

Legendary speech by Dr. Martin Luther King!

Honestly people, if u havent watched this before, I don't know which planet do you live on.

Weird, But i really wish he was still alive :')

Its amazing how you can feel what he is saying, man i had goosebumps! this speech was truly from the heart. no wonder why many people know the phrase "I have a dream" and its association with M.L.K, even if they don't know what it was about.

This speech was 100 years after the Emancipation Proclamation which freed millions of slaves during Abraham Lincoln's time. It was on the 28th of Aug. 1963.

The speech was delivered during the march on Washington for jobs and freedom.

"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today!


Thank you Dr. Martin Luther king for being a man that fought for equality. You Inspire me.

Things have changed for the African Americans, No doubt. 

But it saddens me to say that Africans (Not african-americans, just africans in general)  within themselves discriminate!

 No one should EVER feel that he/she is more superior to others! Never! 

Jewelry misfortunes

I had an appointment with the uni. immigration for monday the 8th regarding my passport. Wasn't sure if they'd give it to me or not though, they just told me to come and check. 

so on friday the 5th, i called to tell them that i will not be anticipating anymore delays because i need to run a few errands before my departure date which is on the 11th, and those errands require my passport to be with me.

After i was done with my speech the lady told me that my passport was already ready and that i should just come monday morning to pick it up. I was really happy, and so today i went gift shopping for my family.

I had a good time with my housemate, got my ear pierced and bought all the things on my list. everything was so good. UP UNTIL...

after i returned home, I was skyping with my sister and i wanted to show her some cute bracelets i got them ( her and my other sister), and the stuff i got my mom, only to discover that the plastic bag with all the jewelry i bought was missing...

I went to ask my housemate if by mistake maybe the bag got mixed with hers, but to no avail, i went downstairs to trace my steps, and again, nothing to be found.

that plastic bag had 2 necklaces, a watch, and 2 sets of bracelets.

I tried to think where i might have left it, but all the cabs we got into, we made sure we looked behind us before we left. Maybe the last cab, because we were kind of in a rush to get home since we were really tired already, or maybe somewhere in the mall? uhh i don't know.

I guess ill just go back tomorrow and rebuy.. again. a lot of money, but what to do